no shopping

I think it’s time someone denounced recreational shopping.

Have you seen those car stickers that are all the rage right now? People stick them on their back windscreens and they represent each member of the family unit. They are EVERYWHERE here in Newcastle. On the back of every proud, carbon-emitting, oversized family vehicle.

You can buy them at the newsagents and they have a selection of stickers for each family member: for “dad”, “mum”, “girl”, “boy”, “dog”, “cat”, “grandma”, “grandpa” etc. You choose the one from the selection that most profoundly and intimately represents who you are. For example the boy might be on a skateboard, the girl might be wearing a bikini.

Anyway, I have noticed that a lot of times you see the family of stickers on someone’s car and the “mum” sticker is carrying bags, that, (since it is unlikely they indicate bags of her belongings suggesting she is homeless and must carry around her possessions at all times) one can only assume are shopping bags. The sticker that represents “mum” shows that she is shopping. And, shopping… her love of shopping, is what profoundly and intimately describes who she is.

 

Mum’s favourite thing, that which symbolises her personality more than anything else, is buying stuff. It doesn’t even matter what the stuff is, it’s just that she loves buying it.  It’s nothing new to “love shopping” – female characters in the mainstream media have long been depicted as “loving shopping”. Think of Sex and the City. There were four beloved women who “loved shopping”. The shit they bought (expensive clothes, shoes etc) practically defined them.

Why are women depicted this way? Can writers not think of a female character that has enough interesting personality traits such that they have to fall back on her consumption habits to give her supposed substance?

How is “buying stuff” a character trait?

And, moreover, why the fuck is shopping a recreational activity at all?

-Oh, that’s right, because we live in a society obsessed with excessive consumption, and most people don’t give a thought to the environmental degradation involved in obtaining the resources, the vulgar misuse of human labour in manufacturing the product, not to mention the pollution created in this process, or the fact that the product will spend more time as landfill than the relative five minutes it does being your prized possession…

(And for the record, I think that lots of men love buying stuff as much as women, but for some reason it is women who are depicted this way in the media.)

Do people not know what to do with themselves in their “leisure time” other than go and buy stuff? Consuming is perhaps the most immediately gratifying but ultimately unfulfilling way to pass the time… Were we to invest our energies into creatively engaging with the world (socially, artistically, physically or otherwise) we would probably have less need to “shop” for fulfillment.

Don’t even talk to me about “retail therapy”.

Capitalism, as we know it, promotes rampant, excessive, vulgar consumerism (just look at the ads, the media), and little time or energy is left for creative engagement with the world. It is so much easier to buy than to create.

Anyway, I think that the idea of “shopping” as a recreational activity, one that represents a person’s character, or something to “do” for “fun” should be put to rest. I think we all would do well to dig deep and figure out how we can creatively engage with the world and quit buying stuff for enjoyment.

But wait, what about the economy? Surely it will collapse if we stop spending money on needless products and then people will have no jobs. I know, I know. But this lifestyle is unsustainable, and something’s gotta give. The economy needs to be different and not built on needless consumption.

I denounce recreational shopping!

No Princesses

I do not want my daughter to “be” a princess, in any sense of the word. I don’t want her to love princesses or aspire to princessy aesthetics. I don’t want her to be obsessed with wearing pink, or any of the other trappings of princesses and femininity.

Little girls go for princesses largely because that’s the image that is presented to them as the ideal of femininity. Around the time when they learn about gender differences and begin to understand that they are female (if this be the case, not all people are born into the right body), they are vulnerable to the heavy-handed marketing of toy companies that manufacture and perpetuate a highly genderised childhood. (More shit to sell if your market is divided in two halves. God forbid a girl and boy child play with the same toys.) What is marketed and sold to girls is princesses.

What does the “princess” stand for? Some associations …

Royalty – ie elevated status without accomplishment

Wealth (inherited)

Being waited upon

Being beautiful

Being elaborately and unpractically dressed

Waiting for a man to come, being adored by this man

And over and above all, upholding the ideals of femininity (a princess is beautiful and genteel at all times)

Why do little girls embrace the princess archetype? Perhaps because a princess is special. She is special and beautiful and revered by all. I think we can teach girls they can be special through other means. Or even that there’s actually no need to be “special” at all. Being average is fine.

What is not associated with being a princess:

Skills

Opinions

Living a meaningful life

Contributing to humanity

Being thoughtful about the consequences of your lifestyle

Swearing

Thinking outside the box

Subverting the dominant paradigm

Being creative

Being resourceful

Choosing who you want to be and how you want to live your life based on a considered and informed assessment of the possibilities before you

These are some qualities I can get behind.

I don’t like this whole little girl princess phenomenon and I want nothing to do with it. I will do all I can to raise my daughter to hate princesses as much as I do. Instead I am going to influence her to be more like Prince.

Image

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Investment Properties.

I’m calling bullshit on investment properties.

I’ve really had enough of this business, especially here in Australia, in cities like Sydney and Melbourne, where so many people who want to buy a home,  to get their foot in the door of the housing market, as they say, can’t, because it’s too expensive. Your average working guy or gal or couple even, who has a decent income and a bunch of savings often cannot buy a place to live in these cities because there is too much demand and not enough supply. And surely part of the reason for this is that there’s all those rich people who own multiple properties.

And I just think that is bullshit. I think it should be illegal. Yes that’s what I said, illegal! Basically I think that people should only be allowed to own one home. Every person or “family unit” (however that might be construed) ought only to be allowed one place of residence to call their own.

Now of course there’s the anarchists and socialists who would argue that nobody should be allowed to own any property whatsoever, and that everyone should have a place to live but nobody can “own” their place (as in sell it for more money) and nobody can pay rent. No landlords, no homeowners, no tenants. Just happy residents. And I’m kind of down with that, truth be told. But that would be such another world entirely, and possibly a bit too radical to contemplate, so for now I’m just going to argue for the one home policy.

Nobody needs to own more than one home. If you have more than one, you have too many. End of story.

Oh, but wait, now you are going to say, “But what about people who want to rent? Students, transients, etc?” Well, I think that one thing to consider is that more people who would normally rent would be able to buy a home because homes on the whole would be more affordable so less people would have to rent. But then for the people who really don’t want to own a home, all the homes not owned privately would be owned by the government and rented to people at a reasonable rate.

Sell your goddam investment property and let someone who needs their own home buy it. For the love of god. Balance the scales already.

 

baby gender clothing rage

Okay so I don’t even know where to begin on this one.

I have a baby who is female and she gets given a lot of clothes by relatives and friends of my parents and in-laws etc, including lots of hand-me-downs. About 95% of these clothes we are given are “girls’” clothes. This means, in case you don’t know, that they feature one or more (usually a minimum of 3) of the following:

pink

lace

hearts

flowers

butterflies

frills

lilac

stupid comments along the lines of “daddy’s little girl”

I just threw a huge bag of these clothes away (gave them to charity) even though she had never worn them, because they were so disgusting to me. MOST of the clothes were pink with frills and hearts and flowers and butterflies on them. No joke. She is ten months old, but has been given clothes of this persuasion since she was born.

Why does a baby even need to have a gender?

Femininity and masculinity are concepts that exist, that people can choose to embrace or reject depending on how they feel about them. Or at least that’s how it would be in my ideal world. Femininity and masculinity are relevant to a person with a self-realised identity. They are NOT RELEVANT to a baby. A baby does not need to have a gender. A baby will likely come with a biologically determined sex, though not all of us do. And some who do come with a biologically determined sex cannot embrace the gender that is assigned to this biology and seek to change it. Gender is not a fixed thing, it is culturally imposed. It need not be imposed as such.

A baby does not need to be gendered. There is no reason that it does. Gendering a baby only encourages adults to treat it differently, to treat it according it to it’s gender. Which entails saying such things to it as, “Arn’t you a big man” and “Aww, daddy’s little princess” and other such disgusting things that commence the process of gender role stereotyping right from the outset.

Have you seen the clothes they make for baby boys? They feature one or more of the following:

blue

machines

sporting motifs

slogans about being “bad”

stupid comments along the lines of “mummy’s little man” (no joke I have seen it)

The inadvertent messages spoken by these two schools of clothing are:

Boys – destruction, action, breaking the rules

Girls – love, peace, nature, niceness, prettiness, submissiveness

why????????

And I find it intolerable. Thankfully there are some clothing manufacturers with some taste and sense who design clothes in plain primary colours or with stripes or spots or other inoffensive patterns.

It wasn’t the case when we were young. When I and my peers were infants and toddlers in the 70s, there did not exist this foul plague of horrendous gendered baby clothing.  Sure there were dresses for girls, but they were just as likely to have been brown corduroy or nautical themed. Boys and girls alike wore brown, maroon, yellow, stripes, sailboats, whatever. Toddler clothing was for toddlers, not mini-teenagers.

Why has this dreadful phenomenon taken place? I do not know. Why did baby girls have to start being feminine and baby boys masculine from the age of zero? It is a truly terrible thing, as it just reinforces peoples’ already fucked up ideas about gender roles: that girls must look and act nice, and that boys are at the centre of the action.

Anyway, I wholly reject gendered clothing for babies and intend to dress my gal in gender neutral clothing until she is old enough to choose (save for the odd sailor dress).

Steven Spielberg is a fucking dickhead

So, last night for the first time in months BJ and I went to see a movie. We had the opportunity because my parents could look after Fox. I was thrilled to be going to a movie. It seemed like a really fun thing to do. We went to see Super 8. The problem was, that I basically thought it was a different movie. There was some movie I saw a preview for sometime about some people on a train and something weird happening, it looked kind of good, and I thought Super 8 was that movie. BUt it totally wasn’t. I don’t even know what that other movie was. But we saw Super 8. and it was total bullshit. Here is a list of reasons why it sucked:

1. It was so boring

2. The music was extremely annoying

3. Too many child actors

4. Too much child acting

5. What the fuck was Kyle “Coach Taylor” Chandler doing in such a piece of shit?

6. Such a dumb, played-out story

7. Little to no intrigue

8. It had this vibe of “wholesome family fun” but was actually full of violence

9. It relied on cute 70′s nostalgia to charm people–> bullshit

10. It was desperately trying to be E.T. for the new millenium. Which in itself was bullshit.

11. It was so, so boring.

12. There was, like, ONE female character and a hundred male ones

13. The one female character was a love interest to the male lead and her main job was to look “beautiful”

So obviously I shouldn’t have been in the cinema watching this movie that clearly wasn’t made for me. But I was there, and I was just so irritated that it was made, that it had to exist, such that I would end up sitting there wasting time watching it. I kept thinking, why is Steven Spielberg producing this rubbish, why why why. Why can’t he think outside the box and make an interesting film just once in his stupid life. I HATE HIM!!! This stupid-ass story has been told a million times already. And really, I just had to write this blog post to get this off my chest. A bit of culture rage for 2011… Thanks for tuning in. I love you.

slightly radical commitment pt II

So I just have to say, that after making the commitment that I declared in the previous post, I have felt completely LIBERATED!! It is so great. I see lots of great clothes everywhere that ordinarily I would want to buy, but I am OUT OF THE GAME so I don’t even think twice about them. It feels exciting and liberating to not be wearing the ball and chain of fashion-concern. It is really very freeing my friends. It’s like I’m out of the fashion rat race and I love it. That’s all.

a slightly radical commitment

So I have decided I am not going to buy any new clothes for a year from today. It’s sort of a big deal because I do LOVE clothes and buying/having/wearing nice clothes.

BUT

The truth of the matter is I have enough clothes already.

I’ve got enough pants

I’ve got enough shirts

I’ve got enough dresses

I’ve got enough shorts

I’ve got enough shoes

I’ve got enough coats

I’ve got enough swimmers

I’ve got enough hats

I’ve got enough underwear

I’ve got enough socks.

My cupboards and drawers are full, folks.

I’m pretty happy with my current wardrobe and if I buy anything new it will be a frivolity that I don’t need. I’m rejecting over consumption! (2nd hand clothes allowed.)

FACEBOOK!

People love to talk shit about facebook. People who are not on it and lots of people who are on it love to talk about it in a negative way.

For example:

“What a time waster”

“This is so stupid, people posting all these mundane details about their lives, who cares???”

“Oh wow look at how narcissistic everyone is posting all these photos of themselves looking hot!”

Those are some of the common put-downs people love to throw around regarding the institution of facebook. And sure, all of those things may be true. But I’m here to offer a different point of view. Because I love facebook!! I’m not even ashamed to admit it, I just freakin love it. I think facebook is great.  and here are the reasons why I think it is great. There are 5 main reasons that I can think of right now:

1. Community Newsletter

Facebook functions like a community newsletter, but the newsletter (and the community) is custom-made for each person, i.e. your unique custom made community with all your community’s news. And your community is world-wide and from all different times and parts of your life, and you just get to hear everyone’s news and get to share all your news with your world-wide community. So if someone you hardly ever or even never see because they live in Norway is having a baby or got an exciting new job or ran a marathon they were proud of, you get to hear about it. And that is something I like. I like getting to know what’s going on with my peeps all over the world. It’s pretty AMAZING when you think about it that you get to have an instantaneous community newsletter of your friends from all over the place.

Also people post links to things they find relevant / interesting / funny so in that regard you can find out about different shit that’s going on and see funny things if you want to and share such things with other people and then talk about them. Shared cultural experiences. 

2. Maintaining relationships

People say: “Oh you just have these stupid facebook interactions but you never have “real” interactions with people anymore, it’s taken the place of real life” etc etc. Well I think that’s BS, because I think facebook interactions are totally real, and it just means you have MORE interactions, because you still have the real life interactions, you just have all the facebook ones as well, and you interact with a much wider range of people than you would if you only had your real life interactions. And for me, cos I’m at home most of the time doing my mother duties and I’m not that mobile or whatever, I can have lots of interactions with people on facebook throughout the day which is nice. Because I don’t have that many “real world” interactions, but that’s because of my circumstances (it’s just easier to stay home mostly when you have a baby) not because facebook has taken over my real world interactions. They are different things and the two CAN co-exist.

3. Humour

There’s lots of humour on facebook and that is probably my favourite thing about it. Plenty of scope for making jokes with people. The perfect medium for “one-liner” type humour that has never really had a place before. You can really have a lot of laughs on facebook if you want to.

4. Love

There is also lots of love on facebook. No two ways about it. I find that because it is “your community” i.e. a social network, people are hardly ever rude to each other, and people pretty much only say nice things to each other and there is so much “congratulations” and “happy birthday” and that kind of thing going on all the time, it’s actually a very “positive” atmosphere on there generally speaking. This is very unlike other web sites where people comment, such as youtube or other forums where people don’t know each other and are anonymous, on those sites it is the NORM for people to be rude to each other, there is lots of sledging and insulting and assholery going on on so much of the internet, it’s nice that facebook is about people being nice to each other.

5. Getting information / opinions

Facebook is GREAT for getting information and opinions of people whom you know if you can trust. For example at any time if you are in a quandary and want a popular opinion really quick, you can just ask facebook and it will deliver. For example when I was at home all day breast-feeding I needed to find some good tv shows to watch so I asked facebook and got a million suggestions out of which I found some that were great. Or if you don’t know what to make for dinner you can ask for some suggestions and before you know it you’ll have twenty dinner ideas.

So these are the things I love about facebook and how it has been great to me. THAT’S MY EXPERIENCE!

But facebook is really WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT.

And that’s what I make of it and that’s why I love it.

My Teenage Daughter

So, I haven’t written on this blog for well over a year, but I’m back! The one huge thing that has changed since I last wrote here is that I am now a mother of a sweet human girl-child. What a total thrill! Yes, it is amazing.

This blog post is about one aspect of having a daughter.

An offhand remark that more than one person has made to me/my husband since having a daughter is something along the lines of “She’s going to give you some grey hairs when she’s a teenager!”

I’ll admit that when people have said this to me I think I laughed politely, because I know they are just “being friendly” or whatever, but underneath I have felt a hint of seething rage because of what is hinted at in this comment.

It seems like a predominant attitude in this culture that daughters will cause parents grief when they are teenagers. But WHY will daughters give their parents grief when they are teenagers??  The issue in my mind is: because of BOYS and SEX and YOUR DAUGHTER’S INVOLVEMENTS WITH BOYS and THE POSSIBILITY OF YOUR DAUGHTER BEING SEXUALLY ACTIVE. That’s what will give you grey hairs when she is a teenager.

I think that the underlying attitude is that your daughter will want to have boyfriends, will want to have sex with these boyfriends, and this is cause for you as her parent, to worry and be stressed —> and why is this? because these boys will take advantage of her? –> because she will “get herself into trouble”? –> with an unwanted pregnancy? with a reputation as promiscuous? with an STD?

And our role, as parents, as I understand it, is to worry about this, to guard and protect her from these hypothetical boys, to ward them off, to keep her chaste and free of pregnancy/disease/slutty reputation. And she’s going to go out with these boys and we’re going to try and make her not go out with them and also we’re going to have fights about it and that’s what’s going to give us grey hairs, I presume.

Well, I’m calling BULLSHIT on that attitude.

But first I want to talk about my own teenage years in relation to this attitude. Because that’s exactly what happened between me and my parents.

Right before my 17th birthday I started going out with my first boyfriend. My parents were not happy about this. They did not think I was “ready” to have a boyfriend. They discouraged it. We fought about it. They wanted to protect me and guard me from him. They would not let me sleep at his house or go camping with him in the summer holidays when I was 17. They thought I was too young. We fought about it. They were worried about what might happen. Probably all the fears I described above (pregnancy, disease, sluttiness, being taken advantage of…).

They treated me like I was too young to decide for myself, to have reasonable judgement, like I was naive, at risk, in danger.

I wasn’t.

The boyfriend in question was a good guy. (My parents came to know this eventually – we went out for nearly 2 years.) I went out with him despite the parental disapproval. I met his mum and sister, who he lived with, and they were good people. All his friends were good people. I had stealthy sleepovers with him that my parents were unaware of.

Anyway, he treated me well – I wouldn’t have put up with less. We started “getting busy” when I was 17, when I was ready and I had brought it up. We were responsible – we used contraception and I made sure he was STD free (he wasn’t a virgin but I was). We had sex and… nothing bad happened. We had great times together. We’re still friends now in our 30′s.

My judgement was good. And why wouldn’t it have been? Like plenty of well-adjusted teenage girls, I was an intelligent and perceptive person, I didn’t have low self esteem. I was informed and educated and empowered. I wasn’t naive or ignorant and needing of protection and shelter provided by my parents. They didn’t need to chase off this guy who was trying to get in my pants, or whatever the fuck. I knew what I wanted, I knew how to go about it, and really, there was no cause for my parents to worry.

Their worry was actually insulting and belittling. It was infantalising. Instead of worrying about me and fighting with me about the idea of sex, they could have talked to me. They could have started by assuming I wasn’t an idiot going out with a guy who was an asshole.

They could have asked me: “Is he a good guy? Do you trust him? Do you feel like you can say no if you want to? Do you know all about contraception and STDs?” (of course I did, sex education was actually taught in great detail at high school in Australia – I hope it still is. I was very aware and knew the importance of safety.)

They could have said: “Come and talk to us about anything if you need to.” They could have trusted my judgement and sense. But instead they just kind of freaked out about it, and their reaction did not credit my intelligence, judgement or sense.

Why do we think women and girls need protection from men, and from themselves? What is this dumb attitude? Yes there are some men who are dangerous predators, but most of us who are sensible people, when we choose a boyfriend, choose decent guys. It pisses me off that teenage girls are viewed as naive, ignorant prey, and teenage boys are viewed as inconsiderate, sex-obsessed predators. (Some guys may be – but most self-respecting, aware women or girls are NOT GOING TO GO OUT WITH THEM!)

[And yes, I guess there are some teenage girls who "get into trouble" - by getting pregnant before they are ready, by getting taken advantage of sexually, etc. But rather than struggle and battle with them to protect them from themselves, wouldn't it be better to see that they are informed and educated and empowered to make good choices???]

I had an extremely positive experience of love and sex with my first boyfriend. And this is how I imagine it will be for my daughter. This is what I want for her. (Though I will not, of course, assume she is straight!)

I will raise my daughter to be informed, educated and empowered to do what’s right for her. If she wants to be sexually active, it’ll be on her terms. I see our role as parents to encourage self-empowerment. I will keep the lines of communication open. I won’t assume she’s naive or lacking in judgement. I won’t shelter and protect her when she is capable of independence. And I wont fear her independence, I’ll foster it. And I will not discredit her by assuming that she can’t make good choices.

Celebrating: Feminist Country Songs!

Feminist country songs are not exactly a dime a dozen. Everybody is familiar with the likes of “Stand by your man”, and “Jolene” (about a hot woman who may or may not steal your husband). Not very empowering for women, as it were.

But do many people know Dolly Parton’s first album, “Just because I’m a Woman”? In the title track Dolly sings about the injustices of the double standard applied to men and women who act promiscuously. Apparently Dolly wrote this song in response to a controversial conversation she had with her husband Carl.

Now a man will take a good girl And he’ll ruin her reputation

But when he wants to marry Well, that’s a different situation

He’ll just walk off and leave her To do the best she can

While he looks for an angel To wear his wedding band

Now I know that I’m no angel If that’s what you thought you’d found

I was just the victim of A man that let me down

Yes, I’ve made my mistakes But listen and understand

My mistakes are no worse than yours Just because I’m a woman

Admittedly she becomes a hapless victim in the scheme of things, but at least she’s calling the scene for the bullshit that it is. The song was recorded in 1967. Pretty daring for that time. Pretty bold to call out that old double standard back then. In country music especially – hardly a progressive culture.

The following clip is pretty damn cute, someone has edited shots and information commemorating famous women through-out history to go along with the song. CUTE.

Another song that is feminist in its refusal to romanticise the traditional woman’s role as wife and mother is “Single girl”, a very old trad folk song, that I know from the lovely Kossoy Sisters. Other versions vary and have been sung by many. Apparently some version of the song dates back to 1850:

Single girl, single girl, Always dressed so fine

Oh, she’s always dressed so fine.

Married girl, married girl, She wears just any kind

Oh, she wears just any kind.

Single girl, single girl, Going where she please

Oh she’s going where she please.

Married girl, married girl, A baby on her knee Oh, a baby on her knee.

Single girl, Single girl, She goes to the store and buys

Oh, she goes to the store and buys.

Married girl, married girl, She rocks the cradle and cries

Oh she rocks the cradle and cries.

It’s not often you hear the life of a single woman being celebrated over the family life that all women are supposed to dream of. In that time it must have been quite irreverent to paint a miserable picture of a married girl, tied down to a life of hardship and woe, and the single girl as having all the good times. The baby represents not parental joy, but bondage to a life of giving and living for others. It is the married woman who is jealous of her single counterpart, and not the other way round. Radical perspective. Even for today, you might say, when popular culture stigmatises single women.

Ironically, there is another song of the same name by another country singer called Sandy Posey sung in 1966 that features quite the opposite sentiment, one much more typical in country music:

“Someday I’ll have a sweet loving man to lean on The single girl needs a sweet loving man to lean on”

In 1952 a country singer called Hank Thompson sang a song called “The wild side of life” where he bemoans that his love has left him, or as wiki describes it, “the story of a woman shedding her role as domestic provider to follow the night life”. This song spent many weeks at number one on the country charts in 1952:

The Wild Side of Life

You wouldn’t read my letter if I wrote you

You asked me not to call you on the phone

But there’s something I’m wanting to tell you

So I wrote it in the words of this song

I didn’t know God made honky tonk angels

I might have known you’d never make a wife

You gave up the only one that ever loved you

And went back to the wild side of life

The glamor of the gay night life has lured you

To the places where the wine and liquor flows

Where you wait to be anybody’s baby

And forget the truest love you’ll ever know

As it says on Wiki, “the song appealed to people who thought the world was going to hell and that faithless women deserved a good deal of the blame.”

That was released in March 1952, and the following song, an indignant response, a big “F YOU!” sung by a woman (albeit written by a man, though I sort of love that it was a man who got indignant about it), was released three months later in June ’52, also reached number 1 and became the first #1 hit for a woman on the country charts.

As I sit here tonight, the jukebox playing

The tune about the wild side of life

As I listen to the words you are saying

It brings mem’ries when I was a trustful wife

It wasn’t God who made honky tonk angels

As you said in the words of your song

Too many times married men think they’re still single

That has caused many a good girl to go wrong

It’s a shame that all the blame is on us women

It’s not true that only you men feel the same

From the start most every heart that’s ever broken

Was because there always was a man to blame

I love this. Here is a version of Waylon Jennings doing a duet with Jessi Colter where he sings the old version and she sings the response, with the verses mixed up. It’s pretty GREAT.

Another old song worth mentioning is one called “Don’t put her down, you helped put her there”, by Hazel dickens and Alice Gerrard. This song is basically reprimanding men for speaking ill of a “slutty” woman that they have “enjoyed”. Just reiterating the old bind of being a slut if you do and a prude if you don’t. You can’t win.

You pull the string, she’s your plaything

You can make her or break her, it’s true You abuse her, accuse her, turn around and use her

Then forsake her any time it suits you

Well, there’s more to her than powder and paint

Than her peroxided, bleached out hair

Well, if she acts that way, it’s cause you had your day

Don’t put her down, you helped put her there

She hangs around playing the clown

While her soul is aching inside

She’s heartbreak’s child cause she just lives for your smile

To build her up in a world made by men

At the house down the way, you sneak and you pay For the love, her body, her shame

Then you call yourself a man, you say you just don’t understand

How a woman could turn out that way

I really like that a woman is standing up for another slutty* woman in this song. A common theme in popular music is for woman to sing mean songs about each other, especially in regard to sexual promiscuity. It’s nice how this woman sings in the other woman’s defense, and tells the men to piss off with their bullshit.

These are just a few country songs by some rebellious women who dared not to sing about desires of men. There are probably more out there that I’m not aware of. The world of country music is conservative and male dominated and although it’s not much I love that these old songs exist. A little voice of feminist dissent from the past.

*I use the term slutty in the most sex-positive manner.